Think of the best person on your team. The one who never calls out. Never complains. Trains the new people without being asked, and quietly handles the emergency at the worst possible time.
You probably don't worry about them. That's the problem.
Because the people who never complain are often carrying the most, and they're carrying it where you can't see. There's a ledger you don't have access to, and their name is at the top of it. The vacation they cancelled to cover a shift when someone called out. You saw the shift get covered. You were grateful. You never asked what it cost them.
The nights they couldn't sleep because the workload kept climbing and their body was wearing down. The family dinners they missed for the overtime. The slow accumulation of "yes" after "yes," given freely, because somewhere along the way they learned that sacrifice is what makes you valuable, that if you just give enough, you'll be seen and safe and worth keeping.
You don't see any of it. Not because they're hiding it to be dishonest, but because complaining would feel, to them, like admitting they'd failed at the one thing they believe makes them worth keeping. So they carry it silently. And to you, silence looks like fine.
Then one day, after years of this, they come to you and ask for something. Something small. A schedule adjustment. A little flexibility. One thing, after a hundred unspoken things.
And if you say no, reasonably, citing the policy, here's what you need to understand. To you, that "no" is a small administrative decision you'll forget by lunch. To them, it lands on top of the entire ledger. Every cancelled vacation. Every sleepless night. Every "yes" they ever gave. And the one time they asked for something back, the answer was no.
That "no" doesn't feel like a policy to them. It feels like a verdict. Like the whole ledger just got totaled up and came back saying: none of it counted.
They won't blow up. People like this rarely do. They'll go quiet. The spark will dim. They'll keep doing the work, but something will be gone, and a few months later they'll be gone too, and you'll stand at their empty desk genuinely confused, because you never saw the ledger, so you never saw it coming.
Here's the shift. The employee who finally asks you for something small has, almost always, earned it ten times over in ways you never had to see. Before you reach for the policy, reach for that. Ask yourself what this person has been carrying that never showed up on any report. The answer will change your decision.
Who on your team never complains, and what might they be carrying that you've never had to see?
This is one of the hardest, truest stories in my book. If it hit home, the book goes deeper.*
Until next time,
Avi